It’s time for another progress report. Life has been BUSY lately. The crazy illness going around had us all knocked down for a couple weeks, and we’re finally digging our way back out. It makes me extremely thankful for the good health we enjoy most of the other times.

A few months ago, my beloved grandmother passed away. It was not entirely unexpected, but the passing of such a cherished and monumental person in my life threw me into a tailspin. My world suddenly looked different and took on a different meaning. In some moments I didn’t recognize myself and in other moments I feel like I reverted emotionally to the person I was as a child. They say that the death of someone close to you changes your perspective on life, and I can certainly vouch for that.

Has anyone else out there felt like they were messing their kids up – like someday you’ll be receiving bills in the mail for your kids’ therapy? Do you have days where you feel like either you or your kids won’t survive through the day? Or is it just me?

Are there any train lovers out there? Specifically, are there any tunnel lovers out there? I absolutely love tunnels. I love everything about them – their darkness, cave-like qualities, echoes, and the fact that almost always, there is literally a light at the end. I have driven through tunnels dug into mountains, giant underground tunnels carrying foot and automobile traffic underneath large cities, and I have walked through tunnels underneath streets and carved into the trunks of giant redwoods in California. The whole concept of tunnels and their different types fascinates me. Plus, echoes, amiright?

Okay. I didn’t want to write a to-do list today. Or more accurately, I didn’t want to follow the to-do list I wrote this morning, and I procrastinated and wrote my to-do list this morning instead of last night. Today seemed like little things everywhere were not going as planned and I have felt anxiety most of the day, especially about my to-do list, which is supposed to lessen my anxiety. That kind of defeats the purpose, doesn’t it?

So let’s talk about health and fitness.

Yes, two days before Christmas. I’m not going to lie, I have hesitated to write about my story because it’s very raw, personal, and I have to get pretty vulnerable. So what the heck, why not share it with the world, right?

I left the chili out last night. All. Night. Long. A huge, savory, delicious pot of barbecue turkey chili that was probably the best I have ever made. The chili that was supposed to feed my family while I had to take a solo trip in a few days. The kiddos even devoured it without any complaint. Potholders were ready in the fridge to protect the glass shelf, the pot was sitting on a cool burner to cool down properly, and I left the stove light on as a reminder to myself to put it away before bed. I thought I had it all planned out. Turns out, even with all my mental “planning” I still forgot the actual putting away part.

I will never admit to possessing boundless physical grace and coordination. In fact, I have had more than my share of embarrassing, uncoordinated moments. I regularly drop things, walk into walls, run into parked objects with a car (that’s another post for another day), you get the idea. I’d like to share a couple of my experiences with you partly because I think they’re hilarious in hindsight, and in hopes that we can all learn something about the power of humor, intentional laughter and self-awareness.

I wrote this letter a couple months prior to having my second child.

My precious children,

Life is full of choices. Things do not happen for an unknown reason. Things happen because of our decisions—not because of luck, and not because you or anyone else is entitled to anything. You can only control your own choices, not those of others. Good things are earned and should be celebrated; they happen as a result of hard work, determination, and perseverance. Perfection is impossible; excellence is not. Bad things happen, but even then, life is still good and lessons can be learned.