I will never admit to possessing boundless physical grace and coordination. In fact, I have had more than my share of embarrassing, uncoordinated moments. I regularly drop things, walk into walls, run into parked objects with a car (that’s another post for another day), you get the idea. I’d like to share a couple of my experiences with you partly because I think they’re hilarious in hindsight, and in hopes that we can all learn something about the power of humor, intentional laughter and self-awareness.
I was an older teenager, probably about 16 or 17 years old, and I was with my dad and my much younger brother. We were at the work site where our new church was being built, and as my dad was a board member of the church, he had been invited to go look at the work in progress. We got out of our car and walked up to what was to be the front porch of the main entryway. At that point, there was just a concrete footer footprint of the porch with nothing to walk on, so a long board had been stretched from the side of the building and footing to the outside where we were approaching, acting as a bridge. My dad easily walked across the board, holding my brother, and I followed.
As I put my foot on the board, I was immediately aware I had made a very huge mistake in judgment and had forgotten the laws of physics. Instead of putting my weight on the part of the board that rested just on top of the outside footing so that it was supported by the footing itself, I had placed my foot and all my weight just past the footing on the other side, and I immediately realized that the board was only barely long enough to reach from the building to the outside footing. The force of my footstep slightly pushed the end of the board far enough forward that it slid off of the footing, and down I went, into the middle of the non-existent porch, filled with gooey, sticky mud from the rain a few hours earlier. The way my dad describes it is that I was there one moment, gone the next.
Unsurprisingly, I was a complete mess. My dad held out a hand to help me up, but he still had a few things he needed to look over before we were able to leave, so I couldn’t just go to the car and hide, and we needed to find a place where I could clean up so that I didn’t make a mess in the car later. I had to go downstairs where all the workmen were, covered from head to toe in mud, and ask for some water. I was completely mortified. My dad briefly explained what had happened and asked where I could clean up. The workmen told me it was okay to go wash up in the – wait for it – toilet. They told me nobody had actually used it since it was just installed a couple days prior, and the workmen relieved themselves in a dark corner of the basement instead. Yuck, and I’m not sure I believed them, but fine, we went with it. I didn’t have much choice. And I clearly remember, as I was “washing” my arms and hands in the water from the toilet bowl, I had the choice of moping and hiding my face until we could leave, or I could laugh. I decided to laugh. And once I started, I couldn’t stop myself. I remember my dad and I just belly laughing at the predicament I had gotten myself into. The workmen found it hilarious, too, so we all had a moment of humor together.
Here’s another story. I was about the same age as in the first one.
My dad had just pulled our minivan into a parking spot in the parking lot of our old church. It was winter, and there was snow on the ground, and some black ice on the parking lot. Living in the Midwest, I was used to watching out for black ice, so I was ready. I was sitting in the middle seat by the sliding door, so I was to be the first one out. I invite you to picture in your mind the series of events that followed. I slid open the door, carefully kept a hold of the handle on the side, and stepped down onto the parking lot, and in one continuous motion, immediately my feet slid out from under me and I landed on my butt. Now, I will admit that I have a silly sense of humor, and slapstick antics always get to me. I laughed a little, but I was mortified and hoped that nobody had seen me. I then stood back up. I walked another couple of feet toward the sidewalk, and my feet promptly slid out from under me again, and once again, I was on my butt. I quickly tried to stand up again, and at this point realized that there was someone that I knew from church sitting in the car right next to our minivan who had seen this whole thing up to this point, and he was respectfully looking away with a tiny smirk on his face. Well, at this point, I was pretty embarrassed because I knew I had been seen, but now I was stuck between the minivan and the door to the church, and the rest of my family had gotten out at this point and were making their way toward the door, so I had to move on.
So on I walked – really slowly this time – another couple feet and – wait for it – my feet once again slid out from under me and I landed on my butt. At this point, I figured I was going to be sore in the morning, but I also found it a little bit funnier, I couldn’t help but laugh out loud a little bit. My family was already laughing at my predicament, so I just joined in. Once again, I got up to my feet, and this time I walked slowly over to the outside wall of the church and – kind of like when you’re ice skating and you hug the walls of the rink as you slowly slide around – I hugged the walls of the church as I made my way toward the door. I was only a few feet away, and I was going so slow at this point that I was about to miss the start of the service, but I was so close. I got to the corner of the building, and relief stood about six feet away, where the door stood open as others were making their way inside.
I hate to even tell the rest of this story, but you just can’t make this stuff up. As I rounded the corner, my feet slid out from under me for the fourth time, and I landed on my butt for the final time. At this point, my laughter was probably causing me to be a little less steady on my feet, and I realized as I looked back at the parking lot that the gentleman from our church was full on laughing, too, and my family had completely lost it, but it didn’t matter. The whole thing was hilarious, and no amount of embarrassment was going to kid me that it wasn’t. I got up again, reached for the door and pulled myself inside, finally.
When you do something embarrassing, what’s your response? Do you cringe and try to quickly get away from the situation? Do you look at the moment as a learning experience and enjoy a laugh with the people around you?
I chose to tell you the stories above – even though they were a long time ago – because they left such an indelible impression in my mind. I realize that my stories are more physical in nature but the lesson is the same, whether it’s a physical goof, verbal slip-up, forgetting something important, an unfortunate omittal of a rather important letter in a presentation which creates a word with a totally different meaning, I think you get the idea. If you do something embarrassing or silly, you have two choices: you can either be mortified, draw yourself into your shell, hide from the world and lose some of your power, or you can laugh. Yes, you. Laugh – at yourself. Because it really is funny. If you were watching a gag reel of other people doing the same types of things, you’d get a chuckle, admit it. Why? Because we all do things like that. They resonate with us because we can completely relate to them, and we innately understand the emotions that person is going through at that moment. It’s called empathy. That’s why television shows featuring the crazy antics of people are so popular and so funny. Even if your embarrassing moment isn’t slapstick physical comedy, it evokes similar emotions and responses. Other people empathize with you when you do those types of things, too.
See, here’s the thing: when you choose intentional humor – to laugh at yourself – the embarrassing or silly thing you did loses its power over you. It actually transfers its power to you. Now you’re more in control of yourself and the situation, and you can realize how minor that thing was in the grand scheme of things, and how comical it can be. When you are willing to laugh at yourself, you bond with people. When you withdraw, it breaks that relational connection and builds a tiny wall. The strongest people I know are the most self-aware, and they realize that they aren’t defined by their embarrassing moments. They’re not afraid to laugh at the irony or purely humorous aspects of some of the things they do.
It’s ok if you feel ashamed or embarrassed at something you do, but don’t get stuck there. Don’t withdraw. Don’t give up your dignity. Realize that your emotions are valid in that moment, but they are not what defines you. Then choose to laugh at yourself and let that situation lose its power over you. Good job, you just made one step toward living more powerfully and intentionally, with a healthy dose of humor.
Do you have an embarrassing moment where you chose humor? Feel free to share it in the comments.
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