Parent Fail Here, Parent Fail There…
Has anyone else out there felt like they were messing their kids up – like someday you’ll be receiving bills in the mail for your kids’ therapy? Do you have days where you feel like either you or your kids won’t survive through the day? Or is it just me?
Oh, phew; the two of you who graciously raised your hands in solidarity can put them back down now. Message me and I’ll send you a bottle of wine and a gift card for coffee and chocolate as thanks.
I routinely feel like I mess up with parenting my kids. I yell too much, I get impatient, I forget what I said five minutes ago and let something slide that I said would get a consequence, I sometimes bribe my kids with treats, I turn on the TV in moments where my kid won’t stop screaming or crying, I am not as consistently consistent as I feel I should be, I have rolled my eyes at my children (More than once. When they could see me.), and the list goes on and on.
I don’t know how many books and articles on parenting are out there, but there are probably at least several thousand by now. I read some of the ones I come across when I can; I’m a visual learner and I’m always looking for new ideas I can implement at home, tidbits of information, or things I should avoid like The Plague. But each time, I mentally compare my own actions with the things I’m supposed to do and the things I’m supposed to avoid, and then pass judgment on myself and rate my fit-ness as a parent. Probably not the best thing to do if I want to encourage myself to do better.
More often than not, after reading these books or articles I am not so pleasantly surprised at all the things I have seemingly done wrong, and a mental beat-down inevitably follows. Mom fail here, mom fail there, mom fail yet again. Then comes mom guilt here, mom guilt there, mom guilt yet again. I still haven’t figured out how there are even enough hours in the day to implement and follow-through on each unique suggestion. You’d need a full-time parenting secretary, if there is such a thing.
If you’re in the same boat, I have good news for you. You will fail. Probably a lot. And despite it all, your kid will survive, and so will you. And you may just even thrive.
We need to remember that each parenting suggestion is based on the author’s own family and experiences. Every kid is different, and every family is different. There is no one-size-fits-all in parenting. Sometimes things that work for one kid are a total bomb for the next kid. And for heaven’s sake, stop the comparisons and judgment. We need to stop comparing our parenting and our family to others, and we need to stop judging, especially ourselves. Stop letting guilt take over.
To help you out, I have compiled a short list of essentials you should do in order to be a great parent:
- Did I feed my child/ren today? (Pop Tarts and Cheez-Its absolutely count in a pinch.)
- Did I clothe my child/ren today? (Whether the clothes match, are clean, or remain on for the whole day is entirely optional.)
- Did I love my child/ren today? (Getting annoyed, frustrated, impatient, etc. doesn’t negate love. They aren’t mutually exclusive.)
- Did I try my best today? (This one is self-explanatory, but be honest.)
That’s it. Four things. Think you can do it? I know you can.
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