Stuck in “What-If?” Land

I’ve been trying to spend less time on social media lately since I have other responsibilities which are more important, and social media for me is a time vampire. I usually start perusing my feed under the guise of checking up on my friends around the country and their various children, artistic endeavors, and funny memes and gifs, but inevitably I end up spending way too much time scrolling my feed and getting nothing meaningful accomplished. What if…

I came across a couple of people on my “friend list” who have passed away recently, and it was a hard reminder of how quickly time passes, how much we take for granted, and how sometimes, things work out completely differently than we thought or hoped. I found myself thinking about all those I’ve lost throughout the years. What if I could have said something that would have saved them? What if they could have seen how special and important they were and tried to care for their bodies and minds more? What if medical intervention could have saved them? What if I could have helped more in some way? What if they would have never done “this” or gone “there”? What if…

Other times, I’ll scroll through and come across names of those I’ve known throughout the years, and I ponder the relationship I have had with each one of them in the past, versus now. Social media does a fantastic job of connecting the dots when it comes to relationships around the globe but never manages to color them in with meaningful, personal connection. Sometimes, even with hundreds of contacts, I still feel isolated and alone. What if…

Sometimes I see photos of people going on amazing vacations or having just bought a gorgeous, new house or brand-new, shiny car, or even just going out regularly for date nights, and I remember our financial situation and that we don’t live close to family, and it will be a while before we own our own home or have a new car, and I start to feel a little jealous and frustrated and sad. It’s not that I don’t feel happy for people; I genuinely do. But what if…

I’ve seen friends who are going through really hard stuff. Health stuff, financial stuff, relationship stuff, family stuff – my heart aches for them, and I feel so far away and incapable of helping. Sometimes I fantasize about the ability to be in the right place at the right time with the right resources to be able to give something that could alleviate the pain. What if…

The one that hits closest to home for me is the people who have recently accomplished a major goal and are glowing with accomplishment and the benefits of hard work over a long period of time. It reminds me just how far away I am from where I want to be and how much work is left to be done. What if…

I think it’s natural to have “what-if” questions from time to time, especially if you have certain personality types and tend to go inside your head a lot. But when I spend my time in the land of “what-if” for too long, what do I actually get? A whole lot of regret and nothing to show for it.

What if, when I saw a friend struggling with something, I actually sent them a text, or made a quick phone call, or mail them a note letting them know how much they mean to me? What if I make the effort to go out for a meal or a drink with someone I haven’t seen in a while? What if I start making plans and start budgeting so that I can meet my financial goals or get a sitter and go out on a date night once in a while? What if I save up a few bucks to be able to give to a crowd-funding site or worthy cause?

What if I make daily plans to move toward my goals? What if I stop comparing my real life to the highlight reel of others’? What if I take the time I spend on social media and actually act on what I only think about in my mind?

What if?