Progress Report

Okay. I didn’t want to write a to-do list today. Or more accurately, I didn’t want to follow the to-do list I wrote this morning, and I procrastinated and wrote my to-do list this morning instead of last night. Today seemed like little things everywhere were not going as planned and I have felt anxiety most of the day, especially about my to-do list, which is supposed to lessen my anxiety. That kind of defeats the purpose, doesn’t it?

But what did I not want even more than doing my to-do list? Not making progress on my goals. Sorry if those statements sound confusing. That’s how my brain is processing at the moment. Basically, the desire to make progress toward my goals outweighed my desire to be completely lazy. Which is actually fantastic personal progress, so I’m happy about that.

So I made myself do about half of the things on my list. And I didn’t die. Not gonna lie, I didn’t do a couple more important things on my list, nor did I do everything I probably should have, but I at least did a few things and made some progress, somewhere. I chose self-care today over most of the other things, and that probably will serve me well with the anxiety of things not going as planned.

Never apologize for self-care.

I set SMART goals this year, and I plan to follow-through on them all. I set goals in the physical realm (weight loss), mental realm (reading), spiritual/emotional/self-care realm (centering prayer/meditation, music, coloring), and educational realm (taking a couple courses in a new subject, just because). I set personal goals in all facets of my life so I can be well-rounded. I set goals that don’t have to anything with my marriage or my parenting, because I have to bring my best self to the table before I can even think of being a partner to goals which affect others.

As I started making my to-do list for each day this week, I realized something. I was having to go back to my goal list pretty often to figure out how I was going to start accomplishing each thing, as I kept forgetting what was on the goal list. This often happens when we’re busy and trying to multi-task and take care of ourselves and others. Our brains are simply not wired to be able to remember everything.

I realized that I have to actually write in small tasks that work toward my goals on my daily to-do list so that I can assure that I’m making progress. It’s not enough to simply make my goals, which I’m pretty proud of, by the way. They won’t happen by themselves.

So I added a few things to my normal list, like coloring for 10 minutes, reading for 30 minutes, singing for 15 minutes, and doing centering prayer/meditation for 10 minutes. These seem like small amounts, but they’re enough to eventually accomplish my yearly goals. And the small amounts are actually great for not taking too much time out of my day and not making me feel guilty about doing them. When I add all those minutes up, I’m only adding an additional hour or so to my normal routine. And that hour would just as easily be wasted on social media or something that doesn’t work toward my goals. Plus, it’s fantastic to do something on my to-do list that is actually fun to do.

I realized something as I was coloring today. When I intentionally set a timer on my phone for each activity, I am actually able to focus more and enjoy the activity more. When I don’t set the timer, I automatically interrupt myself every couple of minutes to look at the time so I don’t lose track of time and spend too much time on a single task. This was pretty freeing and helped me relax more and enjoy the moments.

I haven’t done the greatest on the physical part of my goals yet, but I have made some small, positive changes, and I am a whole lot more mindful of what goes in my body and how my body moves. I have a long way to go, but progress is progress, and that is good. As long as I am doing my best, that’s what counts.